During the Victorian Era, this was an absolutely indispensable book when a young lady wanted an authoritative source on understanding a gentleman’s intentions based on the vegetation he bestowed upon her.  Nowadays, of course, there are social media outlets, whereby you can get interpretations of not only vegetation, but interpretations of looks, phone number requests, random mutterings, etc., and plenty of opinions, many from people you have never actually met, on whether or not the gentleman in question is good enough for you (“No”).

HOWEVER, there used to be an entire language built around flower bouquets, though a person was always at risk of sending mixed messages if they were not careful, and didn’t consult this book prior to combining ice-plant sprigs in with Gilly Flower (whatever THAT is) simply because one thought they looked nice together.  All fashionable young ladies kept a copy of this small book (The Droning Voice nearly went blind reading it) in her reticule, along with her fan, her smelling salts, her handkerchief, her kid gloves, her pepper spray, and her condom.  OK, it was a BIG reticule.

The Droning Voice was also somewhat started to discover that Lettuce used to be something sent as a message.  She actually thinks this is a custom which should be revived and applied to all things edible, which, or course, will require more books, or at least phone apps, explaining, for example, the symbolism of a banana (really, quite evident) and other fruits and vegetables.  It could even be applied to restaurants!  For example, if a gentleman were to take a young lady to a fast food establishment, it would mean he was cheap.  Really, The Droning Voice doesn’t think one needs an app to figure THAT out.

The Droning Voice hopes that one will spray a bit of lavender scent on their pillow prior to listening to this selection.  She hears it is supposed to help one sleep.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is a sample of The Flower Vase:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.