A Few Caveats* from The Droning Voice

The Droning Voice imparts knowledge that was published before 1924 so as not to violate any copyright laws. Bearing that in mind, any advice, recipes, scientific knowledge, health-related recordings, etc. should be listened to and understood as historical reference only. Much of what is read by The Droning Voice is certainly not current or politically correct by today’s standards. However, The Droning Voice will do what she can to not post recordings that will offend those of delicate sensibilities.

In addition to these advisements regarding individual sensitivities about phrases which may be offensive to the listener in various selections, The Droning Voice also admits to stumbling over certain words on occasion. It is possible The Droning Voice may even repeat a phrase she feared she did not read correctly the first time. She may clear her throat. You might even hear her take a sip of coffee** from time to time. The Droning Voice makes every attempt to faithfully reproduce, with her own voice, the droning quality of the most boring person to whom you ever had to listen. And, sometimes even the most intelligent reader stumbles over a word.

Some of the texts, actually most of them, were purchased either at yard sales, or were found in various relative’s libraries. Where they acquired the texts is unknown. Many of the books being read can be found on various sources online. The Droning Voice will provide links if you simply must own a copy of what is being read for yourself. That being said, sometimes the print quality is less than optimal on some of the old texts being read – the 1920s appear to have lacked the quality control we enjoy nearly 100 years later – which may cause The Droning Voice to actually <gasp> get a word wrong and not even realize it. If you catch one of these errors, feel free to point it out to The Droning Voice and she will issue an immediate mea culpa along with a clarification in the text notes found before the recordings of the individual books or periodicals.

Again, and The Droning Voice feels the need to state that the texts being read do not necessarily reflect her political or religious views. The texts selected were based on publication date and price (typically less than $1). Plus, old books have that…unique odor that The Droning Voice finds so intoxicating.

Any content provided by The Droning Voice is not meant to offend those with unique and serious medical conditions. The Droning Voice is truly meant for the occasional insomniac who understands there may be humor in even the most frustrating situations.  The Droning Voice personally finds it easier for her to sleep if she is in a good humor. And with that in mind, she takes an approach to insomnia that, for some, might be a bit too light-hearted. Caveat Insomnior (The Droning Voice just made that up). If you are not one of those individuals, The Droning Voice wonders if insomniactivism might be more in your wheelhouse (The Droning Voice just made that up, too.  To quote Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock, The Droning Voice “is on fire”). If this is the case, The Droning Voice urges you to write angry letters denouncing this web site to your congressmen and various new outlets all the better to drive traffic to The Droning Voice.

WARNING

The Droning Voice strives to help people fall asleep. To that end, The Droning Voice entreats her listeners to not listen while engaged in (but not limited to) the following activities:

  • Taking a nice, warm bath
  • Driving (especially at night)
  • Juggling knives
  • Filing your tax returns
  • Piloting a commercial aircraft
  • Operating machinery
  • Connubial relations
  • Conducting a symphony orchestra or choir
  • Cooking with fire
  • Performing a vasectomy

And many other activities which are far too numerous to list. The Droning Voice assumes a modicum of intelligence from her listeners. Please use reasonable caution when listening to any selection offered by The Droning Voice.

* “caveat” is such a better word than “disclaimer” but The Droning Voice realizes they amount to the same thing, really.

** The Droning Voice swears by Great Value brand “Donut Shop” blend. She advises that if you don’t like her taste in coffee, you should feel free to send her a bag of your preferred blend. The Droning Voice feels sure her coffee horizons are narrow, but ripe for expansion.