The Art of Writing and Speaking the English Language – Grammar and Punctuation

Now THIS is a useful little tome, one of which The Droning Voice wishes was still used in Elementary schools today, which teaches people the RULES (which should be rigorously enforced) prior to penning your inmost, deepest thoughts before sharing those same thoughts with the general public in the form of Rap Music.  Or modern journalism.

You can tell this book is written by a True Grammarian, not only because of the careful distinction between complex and compound sentences (now with MORE diagrams!), but also because this book has, ahem, not just one, but TWO “Chapter 9”’s.  Clearly grammar was WAY more important than keeping track of the numbering of the chapters prior to publishing, which may have been put together based on the number of digits Mr. Cody had available on his hands.  The Droning Voice understands that it is possible Mr. Cody may have lost one or more of those fingers in a tragic can-opener accident, and therefore gets that he may have had fewer digits to work with than most of the population.  She doesn’t know this for a fact, though.  However the numbering system for chapters was decided upon, The Droning Voice sympathizes.  “Math is hard!”, especially when you have been trying to wrap your head around whatever the hell a “copulative conjunction” is.  Mr. Cody didn’t appear to have any trouble with the fine distinction.  In fact, The Droning Voice suspects he spent a good deal of time figuring this one out, just so he could be a rock star at Grammarian conventions.  And you know those are just a steaming pile of awesome.  One can only imagine the late-nights – involving fine brandies – in which the comma, semi-colon, and colon are fiercely (though cordially) debated.  Condescension required. For those of you who just can’t get enough, The Droning Voice suggests roaming over to the various grammar resources on the ‘net.  Here is one that should be fun for the whole family!

The first part of the book, “grammar”, relies heavily upon examples from the Victorian Best Seller, “The King of the Golden River”.  The Droning Voice believes it is clear that Mr. Cody was in the pocket of the publisher, such was his insistence that the student read that little story.  Thankfully, “The King of the Golden River” is now in the Public Domain, so can be found in its entirety “for FREE (!)” online, along with its many critiques from people who appear to spend their evenings reading Victorian literature instead of tipping cows.

Hey, you have to understand the RULES of grammar before you break them.  A ever-so-slight turning up of the lips along with an arched eyebrow will help other grammarians understand when one is doing such an thing.

Pleasant Dreams!

Here is a sample of The Art of Writing and Speaking the English Language – Grammar and Punctuation:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Long’s New Language Exercises

The Droning Voice wants to point out that, back in 1889, cursive handwriting was taught to First Graders.  Also that something called a “slate” was used in writing, which The Droning Voice assumes is a kind of personal chalkboard.  She personally thinks going back to slates would be an excellent idea, cutting back on expensive technology AND “selfies”.

She also gleaned from the text that every boy appeared to carry a “penknife” to school, and, not only was he not hauled off in handcuffs, but being in possession of one was considered a completely normal accessory, if not a compulsory one.

There are examples of Letter Writing, which clearly indicate that not only were State abbreviations NOT standardized (some only had one letter, while others had four), but there weren’t even Zip Codes.  Oh, and somehow a child could expect that a letter sent one day would be received the next.  At least, that is the impression given by “Long’s New Language Exercises.”  I’m sure these children grew up to be bitter,  and forever scarred, that nobody showed up to their tea party – since their invitation came a week after said event.

The Droning Voice admits to having to re-record one section several times due to her inner 12 year-old snickering, though that may be doing a disservice to the many mature, not to say experienced, 12 year-olds out there.  The Droning Voice was a late bloomer. ‘Nuff said.

Pleasant virginal dreams!

Here is a sample of Long’s New Language Exercises:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.