What is Insomnia – Part 4

In which The Droning Voice wanders into the vast wilderness of…..MATTRESSES.
The Droning Voice is stating up front that she has NO idea who founded the plethora of “sleep studies” out there OR who funded the various studies. And she is CERTAIN those studies were absolutely objective, and not biased towards whichever company helped provide funds for the studies.

The Sleep Foundation offers their recommendations here.

The Buyer’s Guide offers their recommendations here.

The Droning Voice got HER mattress online after perusing various websites and becoming so confused that she basically went to www.wayfair.com to purchase her most recent mattress on a Black Friday sale. It was/is some sort of memory-foam mattress, which she likes, though will note that there are people out there who vehemently dislike them. The Droning Voice ignores their complaints, and does remember, with great satisfaction, the joy of slitting the bag into which her queen-sized mattress was compressed and gleefully watching it pop open. Really, far more entertaining than most movies she has seen recently, and absolutely with more usefulness. So far, she is satisfied, but can’t remember either the brand of her mattress OR how old it is. If somebody wants to pay her a huge sum of money to claim it is THEIR brand of mattress, feel free to contact The Droning Voice. She makes no outlandish claims about her credibility regarding household purchases, so Buyer Beware.

Also, The Droning Voice finds it “interesting” that mattresses are always ON SALE!!!! Does anybody ever pay full price for one? If so, how much is that? Related to that, the price range of mattresses is, well, all over the map. The Droning Voice has a sister who paid a lot for a mattress, but her mattress is somehow linked to her phone.  Apparently it can, somehow, adjust her mattress while she is sleeping to ensure that her sleep is not interrupted by whatever not adjusting the mattress could cause. Or something like that. The Droning Voice wants to know if the mattress can also record, for posterity, any talking-in-your-sleep or gaseous output you make while sleeping, and does it then tell you to quit watching horror movies and eating beans? Also, The Droning Voice wants you to know that, since she got online to look up mattresses for the benefit of her brilliant, if not sleepy, readers, she knows she will now have her social media accounts inundated with mattress ads. Such is her dedication to YOU.

So, like pillows, the important quality to bear in mind when purchasing a mattress is to find one that is comfortable for YOU.

Also, if any mattress companies out there would like to send one to The Droning Voice for product testing, feel free to contact her.

Pleasant dreams!