Category: Reading

The Radio Boys with the Forest Rangers

2019-12-31

In this novel, our four heroes do what they do best: rescue people from certain death/dismemberment by their own creativity with Ham Radio equipment.  They also stumble across a cave!  They fish!  They put bullies in their proper place with nothing but the use of their fists (after taking off their coats)(of course)!  And, of course, the obligatory bear encounter.  No dead bears as a result, only singed noses.  The Droning Voice does not condone using electricity to keep bears off your raft, FYI.

The Radio Boys have a mentor who encourages them, and loans them the use of his personal lodge on the mountain where much of the plot of this book takes place.  There is also a math problem involving slices of pie, which The Droning Voice read in spite of her personal aversion to such problems.  Such is the dedication of The Droning Voice, that she will push past her own discomfort in order to bore you to slumberland.  If the inclusion of the math problem keeps you awake at night trying to work it out, don’t listen to it.  Skip ahead.  The Droning Voice will not judge you.

Oh, and there was also mention of how radio operators worked in tandem with airplane pilots to determine where to best fight forest fires.  The Droning Voice does not recommend forest fire fighting tactics from 100 years ago to fight forest fires, which seemed to be heavily dependent on wet potato sacks and yelling.

May the amateur electromagnetics lull you off to dreamland!

Here is a sample of The Radio Boys with the Forest Rangers:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

The Radio Boys Series

2019-12-30

The Radio Boys was written during a time when using your bare fists to beat up a bully was considered a perfectly acceptable, and admirably manly, way to dispense corporal punishment.  Today, of course, such actions would be justification for the bully hiring an attorney at great cost and suing the tar out of the “hero” on charges of assault. The hero wold be hauled off to prison, where, due to his youthful good looks and strong jawline, he would become some thug’s bitch.  The young victims of the bully, of course, would be placed in state custody since their parents were not hovering nearby, and would be forever traumatized by the experience, resulting in years of therapy and PTSD flashbacks.  Fiction vs. reality.

The series was written well before we understood the hazards of freshwater swimming holes (flesh-eating bacteria, anyone?), before sun-screen was considered an essential any time you poked a naked toe outside,  and when ethnic slurs were considered harmless, nay normal.  Any cabin without the carcass, or portion thereof, of a dead forest creature on full display was considered lacking, and a situation to be remedied stat, typically with the use of ballistics.  Such writing, today, would be edited out of existence, not that such editing is a bad thing.  Still, it is helpful for the listener to understand what was considered appropriate, if not expected and applauded, behavior 100 years ago.

The English language is constantly evolving, and even small, three-letter words have taken on meanings and definitions that probably were not foreseen by the authors in the 1920s.  It might be helpful for certain individuals inclined to lead  fundamentalist self-righteous boycotts (or girlcotts) of The Droning Voice that the word “gay” meant, at the time, “happy and cheerful”.  And The Droning Voice will leave it at that.  If you still insist on being outraged, please notify NPR and other major news networks of said outrage to better drive traffic and clicks to The Droning Voice website.

And now, let the adventures of 4 chums lull you to sleep.  Because…Ham Radio.* ‘Nuff said.

You lucky people.  Mr. Somner owns the complete set.  There will come a time when devoted members of The Droning Voice claque can fall asleep to all of these great titles:

  • The Radio Boys’ First Wireless
  • The Radio Boys at Ocean Point
  • The Radio Boys at the Sending Station
  • The Radio Boys at Mountain Pass
  • The Radio Boys Trailing a Voice
  • The Radio Boys with the Forest Rangers
  • The Radio Boys with the Iceberg Patrol
  • The Radio Boys with the Flood Fighters
  • The Radio Boys on Signal Island
  • The Radio Boys in Gold Valley
  • The Radio Boys Aiding the Snowbound
  • The Radio Boys on the Pacific
  • The Radio Boys to the Rescue

All of the Radio Boys series can, apparently, be purchased on Amazon, if you just can’t get enough.

*If you are really looking for material to put you to sleep, and you are NOT a Ham Radio operator, please stay tuned (hah!) for readings from extremely old QST Magazines.

Half Hours in the Far North

2019-11-30

The Droning Voice has NO idea who wrote this book, since there was no author mentioned anywhere on or in it, except that the entire book was written in first person.  Clearly the author wasn’t interested in dealing with the social fall-out from his admitting to:

1) Referring to Eskimos as “savages” (or even “Eskimos”)

2) Including Russia, but NOT Finland, in his adventures except for one brief mention of a Finn who was rather unkempt and dressed poorly

3) Going into great detail of his shooting an eagle in Norway.    PETA, The Audubon Society, and vegans everywhere would be desecrating his grave if only they knew where to locate it.

The Droning Voice, with her sharp observational skills, managed to ascertain that the author was British, so she recommends that somebody in the U.K. attempt to track this guy down to exact heavy outrage on his descendants.

There are chapters devoted to “The Search for Franklin”, about a doomed expedition in the Arctic Seas.  You will want to listen to this in the summer,  laying in your own sweat while waiting for the AC person to show up to fix your 5 year-old unit and which cost several months salary and shouldn’t be in need of repair (not that The Droning Voice has personal experience with this.  Oh, no.)  OR you can listen to it in the Winter with your central heat cranked up to the point of financial insolvency.  At any rate, you will certainly be thankful YOU weren’t on that expedition, or any of the rescue/recover missions.  Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well.

And with that happy note, pleasant dreams!

Here is an example of Half Hours in the Far North:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Mothers of Men

2019-10-25

The Droning Voice admits right up front that, when she discovered this little gem in a friend’s collection of books belonging to her grandmother, she had NO idea what it was about, and was absolutely gob-smacked by the one statement her eyes glanced upon:

“Women are different than men.”

Not reading any further, The Droning Voice wheedled her friend into allowing her a chance to drone the contents of the small book into the ether for posterity and eternity.

She was, uhm, surprised.

This little essay in book form is about “Woman-Sufferage”.  It is certainly a historical document, showing where at least some people’s heads were at, certainly the author’s.  He was clearly a fan of the movement, sincerely believing that the purity of women would only be good for our government, and, by extension, our very nation.  The Droning Voice gathered that, according to the author, if women were given the right-to-vote, then, being the pure and godly creatures that all women are, they would help pass prohibition.   Clearly the author had not spent much time in the company of Reality TV stars, pole dancers, and those-identifying-as-female politicians.  Ah, the bliss of ignorance.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

A caveat: the first few sentences of this essay are guaranteed to raise the ire of ardent feminists.  You have been warned.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is a sample of Mothers of Men:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Wit Humor and Pathos

2019-09-15

The Droning Voice had never heard of Eli Perkins until she came across this book which a friend had set aside along with a pile of other old books she discovered in her mother’s attic, and which belonged to her grandmother.

Eli Perkins (nee Melville D. Landon) was a, well, The Droning Voice isn’t certain WHAT he was.  He appears to have been a writer, columnist, and lecturer, and, apparently, was considered quite the wag in the late 1800’s.  There were a few paragraphs, here and there, in this book which caused the corner’s of The Droning Voice‘s lips to ever-so-slightly curve in an upwards fashion.  It is very likely that her idea of what is humorous tends towards the more sophomoric and base elements.  Her stodgy husband certainly thinks this is the case.

Still, she appreciated Mr. Perkins’ take on late 1800’s gold diggers (“Brown’s Boys”), which seemed to languish about Saratoga (Springs, she assumes), like humidity hangs about the South in the summer, and who were always looking for a rich, preferably pretty, young lady with a bad cough.  In general, Mr. Perkins seems to have had a dim view of those who made regular visits to Saratoga, though The Droning Voice will also point out that Mr. Perkins certainly seemed to have an intimate knowledge of the inner workings of Saratoga Society, as he appeared to visit there quite often himself.  Not that he was a hypocrite, or anything (The Droning Voice arches her left eyebrow).

Although somebody in the Preface compared Mr. Perkins quite favorably to Mark Twain, the listener can rest assured that there really is NO comparison to be made, and notes that Mr. Perkins’ Wikipedia page is quite sparse (Mr. Landon’s descendants should take note).  There is really very little wit, humor, or pathos in this book that will keep the average listener hanging on every word; nay, quite the opposite, in The Droning Voice‘s opinion.

The Droning Voice does want to acknowledge the history contained in this book, that people got about by horse and carriage, and were, therefore, exposed to all sorts of weather that reminds The Droning Voice about what whiny wimps we have become.

Now lay back, relax, and just allow this to lull you to sleep.  There is very little in this book to keep you awake, God knows.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is a sample of Wit Humor and Pathos:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Black Rock

2019-08-08

This must have been quite the gripping page-turner back in the early 1900s. It has miners! Lumberjacks! The Canadian Rockies! A fervent minister of the cloth! A beautiful young widow! And the obligatory saloon!!

Compared to today’s “guy type” fiction (The Droning Voice really doesn’t know what else to call it), the body count is fairly low, and without graphic descriptions of how those particular bodies were dispatched. There IS a lot of angst about the saloon, and its wicked proprietor, who clearly forces those working men to drink and drink and DRINK, until all the money they were to have sent home to their poor mothers, wives, and children is all gone. The minister and the lovely, no, angelic widow join forces to combat the evils of liquor and the loathsome men who peddle it.

Trust The Droning Voice, though, that is ALL the minister and beautiful young widow join. There are no untoward glances, steamy or otherwise. There is one pure and tender kiss (no tongues), sealing a pure and tender love. Period. So don’t be waiting for any filthy sort of word-porn in this book. Yes, any parent would feel safe having their child lulled to sleep by this book, unless said parent is terrified by any mention of things (ahem) “Christian.”

This being a tale of miners and lumberjacks and, uhm, whiskey, there is a certain amount of brawling, though it is covered quite discreetly. There is really nothing to get you pulse quickening too much, though The Droning Voice did suffer a hot flash during the reading of one of the scenes.

Now get comfortable and be thankful for central heat and air. Turn your fan on, or pull up your blankets, and drift off to sleep with a vapid piece of historical literature.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is a sample of Black Rock:

 

This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.