Healthy Living Book 2

Healthy Living by Charles-Edward Amory Winslow appears to be a textbook used in Oklahoma Public Schools at some point well into the 20th century.  How does The Droning Voice know this?  Because on the back of the book there is this notice:

“OKLAHOMA EDITION” and some other blather about it being the property of the State of Oklahoma and insinuations that the price listed had better by-golly be what is paid for the book.  If the State bought it, it was 50 cents.  If an individual bought it, the book was 55 cents.  Nowadays, of course, that would be completely flipped, with the individual paying 50 cents per book, and the State (aka “taxpayers”) paying $500 per book.  Such is progress.  There is also an “Oklahoma Supplement” after the index which discusses issues peculiar to rural living and schooling.  Lest city-slickers start feeling smug and superior, there are also plenty of smudgy photos showing tenements on the East Coast, with text describing their unsanitary conditions.  Ewwww.  There is also, in the “Oklahoma Supplement”, an early form of product placement by the Portland Cement Company of Chicago, which offered to provide – free of charge – plans for a residential septic system (at least they did in 1920).  The Droning Voice believes all her listeners would be well-advised to have a set of these plans on hand, just in case, and should immediately demand said free plans from said company.

The Droning Voice was unable to ascertain exactly what age group this book was targeting.  The illustrations show children who appear to be 8 to 10 years old engaging in “healthy” activities and games (none of which involved helmets or other protective gear) while wearing knickers and beanies.  There is also a grainy photo of a classroom where the students are all huddled under what appear to be parkas while sitting – as attentively as they can whilst being huddled – at their desks.  Apparently lack of heat was not a reason to not learn about Healthy Living back in the 1920’s.

If listening to detailed descriptions of proper sanitation both residential and municipal, microbes, diseases, and first aid are your cup of tea, this probably will not help you sleep.  If you are an “anti-vax-er” the chapter on immunization may trigger you. (Back in the 1920’s, wiping out diseases like Small-Pox seemed like a good idea.) But if you take your health for granted, if you assume you will always have fresh water and clean air, if you have a robust Health Insurance Plan that will address your every sniffle, this may be just the thing to put you to sleep.

Now open your windows for the fresh air “Healthy Living” prescribes (yes, even in the winter), and take in deep slow breaths as you lay back in the proper attire for sleeping.  Unless you live in Los Angeles, in which case, shut all the doors and windows tightly and curl up in a ball next to your air purifier.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is an example of Healthy Living Book 2:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

The Art of Writing and Speaking the English Language – Grammar and Punctuation

Now THIS is a useful little tome, one of which The Droning Voice wishes was still used in Elementary schools today, which teaches people the RULES (which should be rigorously enforced) prior to penning your inmost, deepest thoughts before sharing those same thoughts with the general public in the form of Rap Music.  Or modern journalism.

You can tell this book is written by a True Grammarian, not only because of the careful distinction between complex and compound sentences (now with MORE diagrams!), but also because this book has, ahem, not just one, but TWO “Chapter 9”’s.  Clearly grammar was WAY more important than keeping track of the numbering of the chapters prior to publishing, which may have been put together based on the number of digits Mr. Cody had available on his hands.  The Droning Voice understands that it is possible Mr. Cody may have lost one or more of those fingers in a tragic can-opener accident, and therefore gets that he may have had fewer digits to work with than most of the population.  She doesn’t know this for a fact, though.  However the numbering system for chapters was decided upon, The Droning Voice sympathizes.  “Math is hard!”, especially when you have been trying to wrap your head around whatever the hell a “copulative conjunction” is.  Mr. Cody didn’t appear to have any trouble with the fine distinction.  In fact, The Droning Voice suspects he spent a good deal of time figuring this one out, just so he could be a rock star at Grammarian conventions.  And you know those are just a steaming pile of awesome.  One can only imagine the late-nights – involving fine brandies – in which the comma, semi-colon, and colon are fiercely (though cordially) debated.  Condescension required. For those of you who just can’t get enough, The Droning Voice suggests roaming over to the various grammar resources on the ‘net.  Here is one that should be fun for the whole family!

The first part of the book, “grammar”, relies heavily upon examples from the Victorian Best Seller, “The King of the Golden River”.  The Droning Voice believes it is clear that Mr. Cody was in the pocket of the publisher, such was his insistence that the student read that little story.  Thankfully, “The King of the Golden River” is now in the Public Domain, so can be found in its entirety “for FREE (!)” online, along with its many critiques from people who appear to spend their evenings reading Victorian literature instead of tipping cows.

Hey, you have to understand the RULES of grammar before you break them.  A ever-so-slight turning up of the lips along with an arched eyebrow will help other grammarians understand when one is doing such an thing.

Pleasant Dreams!

Here is a sample of The Art of Writing and Speaking the English Language – Grammar and Punctuation:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Applied Electrochemistry

The Droning Voice is stating, for the record, that she is EXTREMELY grateful for those pioneering scientists who made it possible not only for her to flip a switch and have a cup of coffee in the morning, but also to flip other switches and have lights AND cool (or warm) air in her very charming abode.  Plus her life would be significantly diminished without her battery-powered “Tasmanian Devil” (Looney Tunes) plush toy.

For the record.

She also wants to state, for the record,  that she is fairly confident advances in electrochemistry have been made since this compact and extremely informational book was written, so don’t get all up in her face about LED bulbs or the latest efficiency ratings of your massive fridge.  A) She doesn’t care, and B) she probably has no idea what you are talking about.  The Droning Voice got HER degrees at excellent Liberal Arts universities (in case that wasn’t ludicrously obvious).

This is cutting-edge science from nearly 100 years ago.  Fans of “Re-enactments” are welcome to take a look at some of the grainy photographs in the book and re-enact iron ore smelting (or whatever those grim faced men are doing), using really old equipment that may or may not kill them, if that is what they desire to do.  The Droning Voice won’t stand in judgment of your insane fantasies. The Droning Voice was somewhat disappointed that the chapter on “Electrolysis” had nothing whatsoever to do with a permanent solution to zapping chin hairs into oblivion, though is certain that this important application of electrical science would be heartily approved of by the author.

There is also an EXAM at the end of the book, with a stern admonishment to “use your own words.”  The Droning Voice positively (hah!) assures her listeners that she can answer every single question in this exam, to wit:

“1. How may chemical reactions be classified?” – From what The Droning Voice gathered, those that explode and those that don’t explode.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is a sample of Applied Electrochemistry:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Long’s New Language Exercises

The Droning Voice wants to point out that, back in 1889, cursive handwriting was taught to First Graders.  Also that something called a “slate” was used in writing, which The Droning Voice assumes is a kind of personal chalkboard.  She personally thinks going back to slates would be an excellent idea, cutting back on expensive technology AND “selfies”.

She also gleaned from the text that every boy appeared to carry a “penknife” to school, and, not only was he not hauled off in handcuffs, but being in possession of one was considered a completely normal accessory, if not a compulsory one.

There are examples of Letter Writing, which clearly indicate that not only were State abbreviations NOT standardized (some only had one letter, while others had four), but there weren’t even Zip Codes.  Oh, and somehow a child could expect that a letter sent one day would be received the next.  At least, that is the impression given by “Long’s New Language Exercises.”  I’m sure these children grew up to be bitter,  and forever scarred, that nobody showed up to their tea party – since their invitation came a week after said event.

The Droning Voice admits to having to re-record one section several times due to her inner 12 year-old snickering, though that may be doing a disservice to the many mature, not to say experienced, 12 year-olds out there.  The Droning Voice was a late bloomer. ‘Nuff said.

Pleasant virginal dreams!

Here is a sample of Long’s New Language Exercises:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.

Industrial Studies

Back in the early 1900s the United States was a powerhouse of industry.  Just ask the author of this book, who apparently had some affiliation with the State Normal School, in Fitchberg, Mass.

Note this is Massachusetts, home of several Ivy League universities, the Kennedy family, AND the infamous Salem Witch Trials.  Just saying that this is a state with a serious identity crisis.

However, The Droning Voice remembers being forced to watch flickery films in elementary school on various topics, each film touting the importance of whatever it was we were being told to watch by whatever Education Czar was in charge at the time.  This book was written prior to any such educational films, so, hey, I’m certain that all the industries mentioned in this book were very, if not exceedingly, helpful in putting together this piece of propaganda textbook, for the oh-so eager-to-learn and impressionable students of the State Normal School in Fitchberg, Mass.

There is a LOT for modern people to take issue with in this book, practices which were common and THE BEST(!), which now cause certain people – The Droning Voice won’t say who but you know who you are – to swoon in outrage and despair.  However, if you are one of those people, you can take solace in knowing that those jobs have mostly been banned in the USA, and are now comfortably outsourced to other countries.  The USA then imports products made from those same countries so that we can remain virtuous but still have whatever latest gadget is a must-have on Amazon.  Not to worry, though.  The USA is still a leading exporter of porn, so we’ve got THAT going for us.

This book also has Topics for Study at the end of the book, and seems heavily reliant on maps and crayons.  So you may want to have those handy for when you wake up and feel an uncommon urge to find various rivers and then color them on a map.  The Droning Voice is fairly confident in her pronunciations of most of the countries and cities mentioned, but there were a few river names that she stumbled over.  Those living near said rivers are welcome to feel superior to The Droning Voice.  Hopefully right before you drift off to sleep.

Pleasant dreams!

Here is an example of Industrial Studies:


This is a short example of The Droning Voice.  Subscribers can access the full-length version and really put themselves to sleep.  Here is how to subscribe.